Thoughts

"We are walking down the street, holding hands. There's a playground at the end of the block and I run to the swings and climb on, and Henry takes the one next to me, facing the opposite direction, and we swing higher and higher, passing each other, sometimes in synch and sometimes streaming past each other so fast it seems like we're going to collide, and we laugh, and laugh, and nothing can ever be sad, no one can be lost, or dead, or far away: right now we are here, and nothing can mar our perfection, or steal the joy of this perfect moment."

Just a quote I like from The Time Traveler's Wife-- the book, not the movie. Finished the book last night, and it made me think a lot.

For instance, I wonder what draws people together. When you consider how many people there are just wandering around this giant world, you have to wonder what brings us together in the little groupings we end up in. Obviously we gain friends from places we frequent; school, work, etc., but what about those we have no daily connections to that simply fall into place, into our lives?

They come in and out for various reasons. But how do they know when to arrive...when to leave? When one stops helping the other and one starts harming? Or if they're really MADE for each other? I believe in soul mates. But really, what draws these souls together? ... Tragedy? Happiness? Deep emotions or silly scientific things like gravity and hormones? Is it really just about sex ultimately? The continuation of a species....or is there something more?

How do we make sure we keep the ones around who are really meant to be around us?

Can we really control who walks in and out...at all?

I am happier now, where I am. I'm calmer, I'm trusting, I'm not crying nearly as frequently when alone and left to think. I'm being met more than half-way on all levels of need. I wonder, how long is he here....and how do I know I can trust myself to take care of myself first. Because I have to, always.

More stuff is floating around my head, but I am too tired to fish it out.

My eyes are tired. I am tired.