It's Getting Harder and Harder to Breathe

4th of July has been a running bad day for me the past 2 years. Erick and I fought our hardest 2 years in a row. This year that changed slightly. He fought hard with his Mom, and and hard with life's frustrations. He lashed out. Maybe Saturn comes into Peices in July? I don't know, but I wish there was an explanation as to why he loses is all every year on the 4th of July.

There were tentative BBQ plans at the Alfisi house, but I was under the impression everyone was off, and they apparently were not. So Erick's drama with his Mama (haha) caused a lot of tension and took up several hours of the evening. Kevin and I did damage control until close to 9pm. It wasn't exactly fun. The weather was grosss. We sat around, ate grilled cheese. Needless to say, none of the tentative plans worked out at all. I guess things got confused all around, and "plans" with others got twisted? I don't really know. But I do know that now there are things to be explained and issues to be cleared up. Bleh. I understand that drama is a part of life, but I'm really sick of it.

In the end, the Alfisi drama died down, and we got Erick to agree to leave the house. We drove to a back road in Bristol and watched the Lake Compounce fireworks at 10pm, then stopped and got frosties. First time Erick and I have ever watched fireworks together peacefully, it was nice. Semi-romantical.

I think I might actually make it to a beach on Monday with Nessa, Erick, and Kevin. I hope it happens.

Today I "got back on the horse" and I drove home from Mary's Granddaughter's birthday party. driving the Honda is nicer than driving turtle (little Toyota) and I felt a little more confident. I hoped this would happen....I get really pissed off and determined. Seriously, I'm going to run with that energy. The birthday party was fine, in their steep-hill of a backyard with some of the best BBQ food I've had this summer. Danielle (Mary's daughter) called me her children's "Aunt." Which, I have to admit, doesn't bother me at all. I think it's cute, mostly because I really like the children. I guess I'm going to be their step-Aunt. Hmmm....

I've had a decent day, and I'm in a decent mood I suppose. I just hate having drama looming. I just want to talk about it and get it over with. Blah.