Oh the summertime

This summer has been challenging. Megan told me Adam called it "a grown-up summer" and I think I'd have to agree.

Everyone's farther away. Marie left for a month (she's back now though, thank god), Megan is an hour away, Adam is fairly far. Another close friend basically decided we were too boring, and pretty much deserted us for another group of friends. She's still in contact, and I honestly miss her, though it definitely does sting. I think the boys were right all along about her. There is still tension due to the changes in FoPa. I understand this, but as we continue forward I truly worry that it may not go away. I'm very scared. I feel my chosen family starting to pull a part a little, and it's very hard for me to handle. I suppose it's life, and if we're meant to be friends still we will stay that way. I obviously will be trying.

The wedding looms closer. I've been able to not think about it the past few days some how. I guess I'm ignoring it, or something.

Yesterday I got all productive and called financial aid, dell, and my doctor. Only one thing was truly successful in this mix, and it was the call to the doctor to change a perscription. Financial aid made me angry, as they claimed I didn't get "work study" money this year because myFAFSA was turned in late. My Dad filled out the form, and was pissed. He says it's a bullshit excuse. I guess we'll see what happens. I've been in touch with my manager at the station, and he said he will do what he has to so that I come back, but "hopes the situation won't put him in a bind." He's trying to be nice, but I have a feeling I may lose my job because of this, and I NEED it. This fucking sucks.

My driving retest also gets closer. I always think about it before I fall asleep. I'm trying to stir up some more of that anger/frustration/focus. I can't have one without the others. I will not focus on how much rides on this (ha, no pun intended.) I simply can't. I have to let it go I guess. I'm sticking around the house this weekend to drive every chance I get. I really should practice in Naugatuck around the same time i'll probably be driving when I actually take the test. I wish I wasn't such a spazz.

The same issues have been on my mind for the past month or so, not a whole lot has changed. I really need to think about moving back into school now, though. That's another date I need to pin down, like NOW, so that my landlord can meet me with the key. Oi.